Family Matters
ask jen by Stephanie | posted on September 20, 2011 at 3:22pm
Dear Jen,
Our wedding is scheduled for next September and we’ve booked the venue, caterer, DJ and pretty much everything else. My fiancé’s sister just got engaged – and set her wedding date for two weeks before ours! I feel like they’re stealing our thunder, not to mention making it hard on out-of-town guests, many of whom will be invited to both weddings. I realize it’s a free country, but isn’t this uncool?
Stephanie, Hamburg
Jen's Reply
Dear Stephanie,
Yes – it’s not the smoothest move – and it’s especially uncool for your fiancé’s family and friends who’ll be invited to both events. But before ruining the rest of your engagement by harboring a boatload of resentment, examine your options.
Is there are specific reason they’ve set the date so close to yours? Is someone ill, is someone being shipped overseas, is someone having a baby? These are all pretty valid reasons, which means you may simply need to suck it up. On the contrary, if the date was set arbitrarily or perhaps even a little vindictively, it’s worth having a family discussion. But before you fly off the handle, bridezilla-style, enlist your future mother- and father-in-law (or another trusted relative not as emotionally invested as you) to help. Maybe they can encourage the bride to choose a different date, based on practicality and convenience for everyone involved.
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