Jen's Reply

Dear Missy,

That all depends. What’s your theme? A beach wedding is great; an underwater wedding is, well, ridiculous.

So before you get too far into theme land, consider this—your reception already has a theme: Wedding. That’s what makes the day unique and special. Don’t feel pressured into planning a Victorian or medieval-themed wedding just for the sake of being different. This is a once-in-a-lifetime event that celebrates the union between you and your fiancé;  an over-the-top theme can trivialize your marriage or distract from the priority of the day.

That said, of course you can do whatever you wish. But if you’re itching to add some creative or personal touches, my advice is to err on the side of subtle.  Give out creative favors; do something different with your centerpieces; serve unique or ethnic foods alongside standard favorites, get a steel drum band. The key is to express your individuality without going over the top—and without making your guests uncomfortable. For example,  if it’s a theme that invites wearing costumes (like a Renaissance wedding or Halloween wedding) make sure they’re optional. And keep in mind that you want whatever theme you choose to stand the test of time and not seem utterly silly down the line.

No matter what, if you do choose to plan a full-fledged theme wedding, be sure it’s clear to your guests what that theme is (and what you expect from them)  so there’s no confusion. Put the information in your Save-the-Date cards, invites, and especially on your wedding website to explain what exactly will happen, and what your guests will be experiencing.

The best idea? Save the theme for another party. There’s no doubt theme parties can be fun, but why dilute your wedding day with a whole lot of distraction?

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